Oh boy. Yahoo! Movies just launched the trailer for the new remake of The Karate Kid, starring Jaden Smith (Will Smith's son) and Jackie Chan (as the Mr. Miyagi character). I kind of don't know what to say. There are many, many things wrong with this trailer... it just looks kind of disastrous.

Young Jaden stars as a Dre, who moves to Beijing to Detroit with his mother, falls for the wrong girl, becomes an enemy of the class bully, gets his ass kicked, befriends the local handyman/kung fu master, learns some martial arts, defeats the bullies, and lives happily ever after. You get the idea.

Moving the action from Southern California to China completely changes what's happening here. The trailer is overflowing with stereotypes -- yes, another narrative about a Westerner in the strange, exotic Orient -- not to mention capitalizing on America's current anxieties over a rapidly growing China.

Yay! Daddy just bought me a franchise! One of the many privileges when your dad is the biggest movie star in the world. Thanks, Fresh Prince.

It's an awkward mess. The only thing I'm looking forward to is watching Jackie Chan ("Mr. Han") training the hell out the kid, with sticks and large buckets of water. Then again... something about that "jacket" scene -- the new "wax on, wax off" -- is very wrong. (Say "Jacket off!" ten times fast.) New catchphrase?